Going Where No Man has Gone Before
by Moon Fever
Summary: Severus Snape has opted to do a terrible, terrible prank towards dear old Sirius. However his prank has no basis and backfires as Sirius seems to enjoy the prank. A strange, slightly twisted fiction!


Author's Notes: This is dedicated to all the people that have so far reviewed any of my fics. Thank you guys! :) Sorry if this is weird, it was a plot bunny that bit me when I was half asleep. Oh, and I got confused with what pronouns to use...he, she whatever, usually I refer to Sirius with 'he' here. Hope you like it. I'm sure this has been done but oh well.

Disclaimer: After reading through this fic, you'll understand why it wouldn't be wise if I owned any of these Harry Potter characters. 

The moon was quarter full, sending sufficient light to illuminate the circular room where a shadow stalked, four adolescent boys lay asleep, unknowing of the intruder in this peaceful room.

A shadowy figure crept between the occupied beds of the Griffindor 6th year boys, a robe with a heavy hood pulled up to hide the pastry coloured face that was contorted into a malicious smirk underneath.

This figure, tiptoed towards a particular bed where a boy with deep chocolate brown hair slept, oblivious to the horror he'll encounter in the next day or so. Slowly, a white hand drew itself from the folds of the robs, encasing a small test tube with a purplish solution that shone and sparkled in what little light was seen and in a swift motion, it was uncorked and gingerly placed upon the full lips of the handsome boy. With a nervous twitch and a quiet murmur of a laugh, the solution was poured maliciously into the parted lips and with a final relishing chuckle of triumph. That shadowy figure disappeared back to it's own Slytherin dormitory. Little did the boy with the handsome face, and deep brown hair know that in the next few hours he will metamorphesise into something he never thought he could be...

NEXT MORNING:

Peter woke up feeling distinctly groggy and disoriented, he turned rigidly in his bed to face the bed of Remus who was also starting to stir as the tendrils of morning light crept towards the warm scarlet and gold coloured blankets. On the left of Remus, Peter could see the still outline of Sirius and to Peter's left, James too was snoring loudly...his black hair that had fallen over his eyes could be seen rustling along with the wind of his breath. Peter rubbed his eyes while Remus gave a whimper of a yawn, stretching his long arms above his head, Remus turned to see Peter staring sleepy eyed towards him.

"Morning." Remus greeted, sitting up and with a bent arm, rubbed his right eye while his lips pouted in a childish way. Peter nodded and sat up too, throwing his blankets back to reveal his blue and white stripped pyjamas.

"Morning Remus" Peter said, turning his body to the side of the bed and swivelling so his feet hit the cold timber board floor. Remus was running his fingers through his hair, which had become untidy and erratic in his troubled sleep. He then yawned again and turned his attention towards Sirius' bed where he suddenly gasped with horror and intrigue. 

"Oh my..." Remus began, looking back to Peter with widened eyes and horrified expression.

"What is it..." Peter asked tentatively, he couldn't see past Remus who still remained sitting up in bed.

"Sirius...Sirius bought a girl up to the dormitory last night..." Remus said, looked flustered and embarrassed. Peter stared back, disbelievingly and he slowly shuffled up past Remus' bed and saw a beautiful girl with shortish deep chocolate hair sleeping with a placid expression. Strangely, her hair was the same cut and style as Sirius'.

Remus looked towards Peter with embarrassment, Peter glanced over with an amused and also a slight scared sense and at the same time...

"EEEEEWWWWW" They chimed, their faces screwing into equal expressions of disgust.

"Where's Sirius then?" Peter asked, staring at the pretty girl who oddly resembled Sirius, Remus shrugged, "Perhaps the showers...Oh my gosh! I can't believe none of us heard...I mean...EEEWWW!"

Peter chuckled, "Oh, I know. Last time Sirius sneaked that girl, Jasmine Cadbury to the dorm, he nearly woke the whole house up. 'Oh Sirius, oh Sirius ....OOOHHHH....RIGHT there! OH DEAR LORD... SIRIUS!'"

"What?" Remus shot, looking confused. "I never heard that..._when_ did he...IS THAT WHEN YOU GUYS 'FORGOT' TO COME TO THE SHACK? " Remus narrowed his eyes, peering towards Peter with suspicion. "But this girl...I've NEVER even seen her around!"

"Er - No, we didn't 'forget'... I don't know who she is either..."

Their discussion was ruptured when the snoring of James Potter diminished, indicating he was finally awake. With sleep playing on his bright blue eyes he squinted though the luminescent morning light towards Remus and Peter as they sat together watching the girl in awe.

"What's up guys?" James asked as he poked a finger in his eye and started massaging it. Remus pointed frantically towards Sirius' bed.

"Girl...Sirius...BED" Remus said trivially, while Peter nodded in agreement. James cocked his head, rearranging the words in his head.

"Sirius has a girl in his bed?" James asked "Oooh...he'll be in 'sooo' much trouble!" he added, imitating Remus. Remus, though either chose to ignore the sarcasm or didn't pick it up nodded enthusiastically.

"I KNOW! Don't you agree Peter? Honestly...girls at that age..." Remus looked towards Peter for support, Peter gave a single half hearted nod and winked at James. 

"Let me look..." James scrambled up from bed, pulling on his floral dressing gown Remus jumped from his bed and together they bunched around the girl, Remus on the left of the bed, Sirius and Peter on the right. 

"Where's Sirius?" James asked idly, his eyes scrutinising the girl. Peter pointed towards the general direction of the showers and smirked.

Remus then slowly reached out and tapped the girls shoulder, "She is pretty..." he admitted with a flushed face.

"She is?...Wait a moment..." James bounded back to his bed and reached for his glasses that lay waiting on the bedside table. He put them on and ran back, sucking in a deep intake of air. "Whoa, she is! But who is she..."

Remus and Peter both shrugged with dubious expressions on their faces. Suddenly the girl stirred and opened wide periwinkle eyes. She blinked several times, her long lashes making Remus' heart beat faster.

"Hey, why are all you guys staring at me?" The girl asked in a naturally feminine tone, light and musical. At the sound of the girls own voice she clutched onto her throat and her eyebrows knitted together confused.

"What the..." She then scrambled to sit up in bed and when her blankets dropped onto her lap, the girl looked down upon her well padded bust, her eyes growing wide and round.

"AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH...I've got breasts! AHHHHHH!" The girl screamed, clutching her chest while James, Peter and Remus retreated from the bed, strange scrambled thoughts running through each of their minds.

"Who _are_ you..." Remus asked tentatively, though something inside him seemed to answer his question. 

"I'm Sirius, you nitwit! AHHH! AHH! Ahhhh...oohh...wow...they feel nice" The girl called 'Sirius' had unexpectantly plunged a hand down the opening of his polar fleece pale blue pyjamas and was now fondling her/his own breasts. There was doubt about it, the girl was wearing the same pyjamas as male Sirius, and somewhat resembled male Sirius, said the same way, had the same actions as normal Sirius. But this was no ordinary MALE Sirius...

"SIRIUS?! What the hell, No you're not...last time I checked you were a guy!" James yelled, his face turning bright red as he saw 'Sirius' touch himself. 

"You check?! What do you mean 'the last time you checked I was a guy'?" Sirius shot back in a high pitched voice. "I'm a girl...oh help, help! I bet I know who did this! Snape...that ugly blighter..."

"Whoa, calm down -er- Sirius..." Peter tried to stop a smile but couldn't help it when he saw that Sirius' hand was still tucked between the top buttons of his pyjamas. "Well...Hmmmm...."

Remus was shocked and worried, perspiration was dripping down his forehead as he watched Sirius the girl 'explore' with his new body. "We can always go get McGonagall! I mean someone transfigured Sirius into a girl...I think...Oh dear"

Sirius the girl then dove underneath his blankets along with his wand, James, Remus and Peter watched apprehensively as Sirius rustled underneath, they heard Sirius murmur 'Lumos' and then with a rather nervous, excited tone of voice 'Nox' and Sirius the girl's head popped back up, redder then usual and with a tinge of amusement.

"No doubt about it, I'm a girl...Wait till I get my womanly fingers around Snape's neck..." Sirius said, batting his eyes. He ran his fingers through his normal length hair and murmured "pity I don't have longer hair...."

"Now, Sirius...don't jump to conclusions...this shouldn't last long. Let's get Professor McGonagall...Please!" Remus pleaded, looking anxious as he rocked on the balls of his feet, his light auburn hair starting to stick to his damp forehead. James looked highly amused, Peter was incredibly fascinated by the new, improved girlish Sirius and Sirius was beside himself with glee.

"Oh...I've gone where no man has gone before..." 

Later at breakfast, things were much the same with Sirius dressed in a smaller version of his usual uniform, borrowed from James who insisted that he'd outgrown it. Remus had pleaded for Sirius to go to McGonagall to 'correct' his problem but Sirius insisted on having a bit of fun. Peter was thoroughly convinced this was a ridiculous ploy from Snape as an act of revenge but couldn't help but think that this was not what was intended. Snape obviously wanted Sirius to resent being dubbed a girl, but as we've discovered Sirius rather - er - enjoys the experience of the better sex (This is written from the thoughts of a proud female).

"Omigod...Sirius! What are we going to say..." Remus whispered in a hushed tone, trying to cover his face as Sirius swanned into the Dining Hall with a wide grin and petite movement. James on the other hand chuckled.

"It's alright Remus, we'll say Sirius has taken ill and er...hmmm...good point. What ARE we going to say?" James cast a look towards Peter who recoiled.

"Don't ask me! How am I supposed to know the answer?!"

"Actually, I rather like this..." Sirius the adolescent girl answered, fluttering his eyelashes. Remus hit his own forehead, wishing the ground would swallow him up, or at least change back Sirius into the man he used to be. But the thing that made Remus feel like he was in an even worse situation was that for a split second before he discovered the girl was Sirius, he had developed a small crush on her, and resented Sirius for spoiling her body. Oh how things have changed...

"Geez...don't you want to change back..." Peter threw in, Sirius looked violated.

"Not yet anyway, I do enjoy this new view on life and oh by the way, on a girls perspective...you guys all are ugly. Except for maybe you James, oh. Actually, you're ugly because I'm such a pretty girl. To be fair, I would possibly fancy Remus if only he'd stop turning red EVERYTIME I look at him" The others were too flabbergasted to contemplate what he even said as they sat on the end of the Griffindor table hoping to repel any unwanted attention.

"Sirius...Do you know how long you spent in the bathroom staring at yourself?" James asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Not long enough, too bad I have no makeup" Sirius added smiling broadly.

"You are such an arrogant girl" Peter accused.

"I know"

"Hmmm..."

Remus put both of his elbows onto the table and threw his head into his hands. Sirius had said he'd fancy him...how very, very disturbing. Suddenly familiar footsteps clicked into his hearing range and he looked up reluctantly to see a very cheery first year Griffindor smiling energetically. 

"Go away Miranda" he spat, the girl looked down on him with eyebrows furrowed and shook her head of thick, fluffy , mouse brown coloured hair. 

"You are SO mean to me big brother." she said before sticking her tongue out, she scanned her eyes down to Peter then James and finally Sirius. "OHH! Who's that? She's SO pretty..."

"Er...oh her...she's 'new'" James began "Her name's...Siria..."

"What about Sirius? Where's he?" Miranda clasped her hands towards her heart and pouted while Remus rolled his eyes and dug his head back into his hands. James laughed at the naive first year while Peter grinned.

"He's sick..." Peter said, trying to stifle laughter "With Syphilis..."

"What's syphilis James?" Miranda asked innocently, as she pawed the ground with her black shoes. Sirius the girl turned to glare at Peter.

"Ask Peter, he knows" 

"Peter?" Miranda began, her brown eyes wide with curiosity.

"Ask your brother..." Peter said, Miranda turned her gaze expectantly to Remus who felt like throttling Peter. 

"No, go away. Go away and play with your other friends or your make up...whatever, just leave us alone" Remus stated, staring into his little sister's eyes.

"Well phooey to you too" Miranda swung around on her heels and walked several steps ahead. She then turned abruptly and quickly ran towards the boys (and girl) and was positively over flowing with suppressed excitement.

"Would Siria play Make Up with me?!" she gushed, the boys all looked towards 'Siria' and were unsurprised to see him (her?) nod as enthusiastically as Miranda.

"Ok Cool! Meet me in the entrance hall after breakfast Siria" and with that, Miranda bounded off in large strides.

"At least _someone_ appreciates my beauty" Sirius said, lifting his slender neck, unmarked by an Adam's apple and fanning himself with his hand.

"Oh Shut up, tell it to someone who cares!" James shot back, rolling his eyes.

Meanwhile...in a table not so far from the Griffindors, Severus Snape watched Remus, James, Peter and Sirius with adept attention, his ebony eyes barely leaving the sight of them. He was relishing his achievement though disappointed as such, Sirius Black was no longer the boy that everyone admired for his good looks but now a girl, and a damn gorgeous girl. Apparently Snape had thought that Handsome Boys would make Ugly Girls, though in this case Handsome Sirius changed to Beautiful Sirius. Snape was wondering why Sirius hadn't gone to McGonagall to transfigure back into his normal self but hell, if Severus was as gorgeous as Sirius whilst as a girl, he'll want to spend a day or two...'exploring the possibilities'


End file.
